I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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