found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
