She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
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If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
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I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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