I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
