I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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