physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
