Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
