nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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