"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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