He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
