okay pat passed out under dana's car
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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