i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
