Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
