Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
