i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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