I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
