i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
