I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
