and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
