I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize