So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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