When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize