Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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