Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
So squirting runs in the family.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Randomize
