All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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