Only a mothe r could love this liver
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Still dying that you shit outside
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
