drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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