Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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