I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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