I have demons in me.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
