He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My vagina just recognized that song.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
