doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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