She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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