Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
