I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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