how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
