I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
