So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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