I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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