Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
