We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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