Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I believe in your delicious