I hope mine doesn't look like that
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.