I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought