I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
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I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
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Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay