i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!