dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this