I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'