Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.