he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny