This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
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i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
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How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.