love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
