Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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