hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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