College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
