Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
