he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
