Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
