There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
soo... how was my night?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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