So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure