Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
