WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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