Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize