there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
