Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
