So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
