$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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