just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
